How to Get Closure After a Breakup | Her Campus
Should I contact my ex to get closure? I really don't think that it would hurt you or inconvenience you to meet him for coffee and give him the closure he needs. So people often ask, “Should I contact my ex and try to get some closure? If so, then why do you want to meet them again under the guise of seeking closure?. Why should this be any different? At best, you and your ex will meet up in a boring coffee shop and awkwardly ask Regardless, you're very, very unlikely to get what you want out of attempting to find closure with an ex.
Are you upset because they have a mind of their own and left you, or made decisions that forced you to leave them? Are you miserable for the same reasons? If so, then why do you want to meet them again under the guise of seeking closure? No matter how hard you love them, or how logically you argue with them, they still sometimes do crazy, independent things.
The Brutal Truth About Getting ‘Closure’ With An Ex | Thought Catalog
Meeting them again is probably just going to stir up all these toxic emotions all over again. Accepting this fact, surrendering control of other people, is the best closure you can achieve. Now there are a few cases, particularly where there was some sort of abuse, emotional or physical, in a relationship, where it can be psychologically healthy and helpful to meet your ex again and vent some of your feelings.
Best for you to seek professional help for something this serious. This is also tricky, because many apologies are really attempts to manipulate the other person.
You must not expect any response at all. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. Sometimes when we are attached to something and that thing dies, it takes us a long time for the death of the thing to register. This process of living through the period of time between when the thing dies and when we are ready to accept at an emotional level that the death has occurred is called grief.
This is a very sad thing that has happened for you. Your former boyfriend was put into a position where he had to choose between you and what his parents want for him and he made his choice in favor of what his parents want for him over you.
He did not have the courage to tell you that he had made a choice.
How to Get Closure After a Breakup
He may not have admitted it to himself consciously, but he did "vote with his feet" by distancing himself from you until it was obvious and you confronted him.
You did absolutely the right thing by standing your ground and not allowing him to devalue the relationship by trying to convert it to a friendship when that is not what you desire. Some other people in your situation would have caved just to keep the relationship going, and that would not be good for them self-esteem-wise.
The price of you keeping your dignity is, unfortunately, that the relationship has died. The right thing to do now is to move on and find another man.
This is so very hard to do sometimes, however.
You say that you want closure, finality, and I appreciate that you want some event to happen that will snap you out of your trance and allow you to get unstuck emotionally and move on one way or another. I just feel like a better person, but I'm still working on my self-esteem. It would be stupid to meet up with her, and wouldn't offer any kind of closure, agree?
Ex "would love to meet for coffee to have closure" - kd8mq.info Community Forums
I do feel better though, knowing that about 2 months ago, if she would "love to meet for coffee" I would have already been jumping in my car and asking where. Here's what you do. Write her back, and propose a time and day that corresponds with the day or the day before you leave if you leave very early. Invite her to some place, nice and trendy, but not over the top.
Tell her you have a small gift for her, that it isn't much, but that you think she'll appreciate it and please don't bring you anything. Tell her you'll only have about minutes to meet. Then, don't confirm unless she asks, and don't show up.